Don't Rush

so now it has come to this. i'm scared to even go near you because i know you'd demand something i can't refuse. i knew, i knew that this would happen yet i chose to ignore the red flags waving up front. i spoilt you. and you liked it. this was the only way i know that you could appreciate me. that you felt that i was doing something special for you. you. i was thinking of no one else but you. your happiness, your satisfaction, your temperament. and so i lost myself. i lost myself in you. big mistake. how can i cater to your needs if i myself have forgotten what it was that i wanted. what it was that i needed. what it was i was really aiming for. i know it wasn't this. now all i see are shallow waters when what was meant for me was great heights. how could i have clouded my view in the clear horizon i once knew so well, inside of you? now i'm finding my way back again. i'm seeing more clearly. and now the vision of you is slowly fading.